Ezra's Christmas
by subtleshadeofgrey
Summary: Another story in my occasional Not A Keeper series. Ezra's first Christmas with his brothers.
1. Chapter 1

EZRA'S CHRISTMAS

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them and I don't expect to get them in my christmas stocking either.

A/N It's all been done! Everything - sick Ezra, angsty Ezra, missing and runaway Ezra, cute Ezra, hurt Ezra and just plain christmas fluff Ezra. It's been done in adult gen, slash, kidfic: It's been done in old west, modern AU, ATF and other au's. I should know since I reckon I've read them all. So since there's obviously no original idea to be dredged from my tired and tinseled brain (although someone out there may have something to contribute... go on, there's a serious lack of Ezra fic out there lately - do you want JD Chris and Vin to take over completely?) I have decided what the heck and just go with some of my favourite cliches, so expect some sick! Ezra (but nothing serious because it's Christmas) some fluff, nothing even remotely original... and absolutely NO pumpkins! This isn't a long fic, just two or three chapters over the Christmas week. Oh, and...

MERRY EZMAS TO YOU ALL!

Ezra had a cold. It wasn't a surprise - everyone in the family and most of the town of Four Corners either had it or had just gotten over it. Of course for most people a simple cold was all it was

Unless you were Ezra.

At least that was Ezra's opinion. As far as the seven year old was concerned whatever deity was in charge of making small boys lives a misery always had the name Ezra at the top of it's list.

He gazed out of the window at JD and Vin playing in the snow and sighed in frustration. Not that he desired to be out in the freezing precipitation - and who in their right mind would? - but choosing not to get cold and frostbitten was one thing; being told that you couldn't was something else entirely. Unaware of his actions he pulled his cuddly tiger closer to him. He would no doubt deny the need for the comfort it brought, dismissing the affection for a stuffed toy as childish (acting like a child being one of Maude's more important no-no's) but sick little boys tended to operate on instinct rather than intellect. And mother was hardly there to enforce her rules.

Ezra, of course, was used to being told what to do. His mother had a strict list of do's and don'ts, most of which were neither legal or moral but still to be obeyed. The diabetic nurses had whole pamphlets, books even, filled with medical and health do's and don'ts and now he had six brothers with their own set of rules.

The trouble was that all those sets of rules were now clashing and Ezra felt confused. According to Maude one should never show one's vulnerability so he had endeavoured to hide his malady but it was difficult to hide sneezes and coughing fits at the best of times - and downright impossible when your blood glucose readings shot out of control as they tended to do when ill. Now he had Chris, Nathan and Josiah hovering over him like momma bears, especially Nathan who saw it as his duty, with his future career as a doctor in mind, to watch over every aspect of his illness and administer foul potions to aid his recovery. Ezra had quickly learned that Mary Poppins had been correct in saying that a spoonful of sugar helped the medicine go down because the sugar-free stuff that he had to swallow was more foul than... than pumpkin juice!

Ezra glared down at the book he had been reading. How on earth Hogwarts could provide the juiced remains of such a vile squash as a beverage made him glad that Mother's threats to send him to boarding school were sidelined. As if enduring the pumpkin fest at Halloween hadn't been bad enough he had discovered that the very same vegetable was included in the tradition of thanksgiving. An event that had been, he suspected, celebrated in a low-key manner by his adopted family this year due to their bereavement but had still given him the warm feelings he had always thought should be present at such an occasion but so far in his young life hadn't been. Thanksgiving was a time for family and usually the family that Ezra was with at this time of year was one that Maude was busy conning, marrying or divorcing so the feelings were often strained and seldom genuine. This time, however, when each member had declared at the dinner table their reasons for being thankful they had each professed HIS inclusion in their family as that reason. Well that had never happened before and considering that they had lost their parents for them to be thankful for anything at all was quite amazing. He, of course, had a whole list of polite, ingratiating and appropriate responses to give when his turn had come, which one he used usually depended on the situation or con being run at the time, Mother had made sure of that so he surprised himself when he discarded them all and announced that he was thankful that...

He was a keeper.

He was even more astounded that everyone seemed to know what he meant. All in all it had been a very satisfying celebration... except for the pumpkin soup and the pumpkin pie. He doubted that if the world of Harry Potter celebrated thanksgiving, which being British it didn't, that nobody would claim to be grateful for pumpkin juice!

Ezra sighed again which triggered a violent coughing fit, his tiger coming in quite handy as a pillow to soften the pounding his ribs were getting from his lungs and he wondered if just the sight of the cold weather could aggravate his symptoms. Perhaps he should get another book from the bookcase. Potter didn't seem to be cheering him up at all. Not surprising really. He suspected that Josiah had given him the books so that he would identify with the character of Harry and that was never going to happen. It didn't take him long to acknowledge that he was a Slytherin through and through. Maybe he would read one of Buck's westerns, they had proved to be quite enjoyable especially when living in the same kind of landscape as the cowboys did - mother would be appalled... which somehow didn't fill him with the dismay it would have a couple of months ago.

Having decided to select a new book Ezra had just begun to rise from the window seat when instinct stilled him. He was being watched. It was one skill that hadn't been taught to him by his mother, in fact she had been quite proud that it was an inborn thing - one of his God given talents. He checked the glass pane in front of him, not seeing JD hit Vin with a well aimed snowball but using it as a mirror to catch the reflection of his secret observer.

He relaxed slightly when he recognized the tall blond figure by the door. Chris. No doubt the older brother had been drawn to him by his coughing. He sighed once more but in exasperation rather than boredom. The novelty of being cared about could wear off pretty quickly.

"Was there something you wanted Chris?"

E * Z * M * A * S

Chris had been lost in thought as he popped the chicken casserole into the oven. It had worried him, worried them all in fact, that Ezra had attempted to hide his cold from them. So many of the normal actions of small boys, actions that he had seen repeated in his younger brothers time and time again were absent in the little southerner. What kind of life and what kind of parent led you to fear admitting that you were ill? Chris shook his head in sadness but anyone looking into his eyes would have seen the flash of anger hidden deep within them. Once again he felt like slowly throttling the creature called Maude Standish. If only...

A sudden fit of coughing coming from the nearby lounge distracted Chris from thoughts of retribution and he waited for the call for help, assistance, company or whatever a sick little boy would need... nothing. With a sigh he headed across the hall grabbing a bottle of sugar free cough mixture from the kitchen counter as he went. They had all been surprised at the need for different products for diabetics - he snorted as he thought that the description cough syrup should have given them a clue. Stopping at the kitchen door he turned back and grabbed a handful of cherries. He'd tasted the vile concoction - the kid was going to need a nice taste afterwards.

Chris took the opportunity to watch his little brother unobserved. He smiled at the body language which screamed boredom. Nice to know that some things were universal to kids. He knew he'd been busted when that same posture stiffened and the little boy was replaced by the little gentleman. He frowned as Ezra, without turning round addressed him by name. How did he do that?

"Was there something you wanted Chris?"

Heck yes, thought Chris as he entered fully into the room. I want you to stop tensing when we come near... I want you to trust us enough to take care of you when you're ill... I want you to be seven years old not seven going on thirty.

"Bought you your medicine" was all he actually said. Kid couldn't help being raised the way he was and he had come a long way since that night he had been dumped on their doorstep like unwanted baggage.

"Ah'm fine" An assertion which rang with sincerity that could have been believed if it hadn't been for the hacking cough that followed it.

"Uh huh... here, drink" Chris held out a measured amount of the dark brown liquid, resisting the urge to exhibit a sympathetic shudder as Ezra forced it down. The look of gratitude he received as he handed over the fruit would have surprised him had he not tasted the medicine himself.

"So where were you going? Not outside I hope" Chris asked, not wanting to embarrass Ezra further.

Ezra glared at his older brother and sent a scathing glance at the snowy landscape.

"Hardly!" he croaked as he swallowed the last of the cherries, placing the pits tidily in the nearby wastebasket. "I was simply going to retrieve a fresh book."

Chris's eyebrow went up as he looked to the indicated half read book on the window seat.

"Didn't like it?" Even the older boys had enjoyed Harry Potter.

"He's an idiot."

Well that put an end to that topic of conversation! thought Chris with an inner chuckle.

"Okay" he acknowledged "But I want you to make sure to have a nap this afternoon, you didn't sleep well last night."

Ezra blushed. "I am sorry if my coughing kept y'all awake"

Chris winced at the misunderstanding . "Can't help being sick Ezra and we've all been there. What I meant was that if you don't take care of yourself you won't get better in time for Christmas. We'll be getting the tree next weekend, that's always a lot of fun."

Ezra was curious. The few Christmases he had been a part of had varied from the austere - staying with Great Uncle Augustus, whose attitude to Christmas was puritanical in the extreme and had resulted in him being able to repeat large chunks of the bible by heart - to the extravagance of Maude's second husband's household where little boys were to be paraded about the soiree and then packed off to the attic room where they were to be neither seen nor heard. But fun? No, fun had ever been part of the proceedings... especially in connection with Christmas trees. Why getting them out of the box and assembled alone was a task that had caused much swearing amongst the household staff.

Chris noticed the confusion on Ezra's face but ignored it. He wasn't sure that he wanted to know just what Christmas entailed in the Standish household. Instead he asked a question that he really needed an answer to but didn't want to ask too bluntly.

"And I'm betting that you haven't even written your letter to Santa yet let alone posted it?"

The look of total disbelief on the flushed and delicate features spoke volumes.

'Well that answers that' Chris sighed wordlessly.

"You expect me to believe in..."

"JD does."

"Ah."

Chris was very impressed at the understanding shown by the seven year old. At eight this was likely to be the last Christmas that JD would believe in Santa and even now his suspicions were roused, mainly due to the older kids at school. Chris didn't want Ezra's natural cynicism to spoil things for JD but another part of him wondered if the southerner had EVER believed in the man in red. Somehow he doubted it.

"Never fear Chris, JD's faith in Santa will not be ruined by me. I will endeavour to make my own missive to Mr Claus as believable as possible."

Ezra noted the look of relief on the older Larabee's face and he was pleased that he had done something correct - being a member of a family was more difficult than he had thought - but he WAS a Standish and so couldn't resist a little manipulation.

"Thanks Ezra, I..."

"Of course" Ezra interrupted and Chris was intrigued to see a wicked little smirk appear on the usual poker face. "Since I am going to all the trouble of writing a letter to this mythical miracle worker he would be rather obliged to grant my wishes wouldn't he? After all my actions would most certainly put me at the top of his 'nice' list wouldn't they?"

Chris smiled which rather surprised the little con artist who had rapidly regretted his teasing. He still wasn't sure enough of his security within the Larabee household to play at extortion.

"I reckon that Santa would take any good deeds into account" Chris agreed, hoping that the sneakiness universal to all boys, or at least all boys of Larabee blood anyway, was a good sign. Seeing a flicker of doubt enter the green eyes he rushed on so as not to spoil the moment. "I'll go get JD and you can write your letters together"

Ezra nodded and wondered how he managed to get himself into these situations. JD would be as hyper as usual which wouldn't do his headache any good and he would be expected to actually list things he wanted when experience had told him that wanting got you nothing but disappointment... better not to expect anything at all. And he didn't want the family to think he was greedy. They already paid for his medication, his education and his food and clothes. It was more than anyone else ever had done... willingly anyway.

M*E*R*R*Y

Ezra thought hard as, with tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, JD wrote in furious concentration. His own letter to Santa seemed to be going swimmingly.

Ezra stared at his own almost blank piece of paper; the 'Dear Mr Claus' standing out starkly in it's isolation. This was ridiculous! His educators had labelled him a child prodigy for goodness sake, surely a few well composed lines to a fictional character were not beyond him?

But therein lay the problem. For his letter WOULD be read - by the people who had given him so much. By the people who, if he proved himself to be too greedy or selfish, had the power to send him away.

Not that they would; he was certain about that... well almost. A lifetime of seven years (and nearly twelve months) experience had taught him that people were unpredictable. That's why he preferred science and numbers.

And what would they expect him to ask for? Toys? He had already received more toys in the last months than in his whole life and while there were things he had seen on the tv and in the shops that had attracted his attention he didn't actually NEED any more. So to ask would be greedy wouldn't it? And he didn't dare factor in his upcoming birthday. It would be best to leave that well alone. Besides he had learned to expect nothing on that particular day - it had been made quite clear to him over the years that having a birthday on December 24th was just plain inconvenient. Not that it had mattered much since as far as Maude was concerned his birthday was whenever was most judicious to her latest scam - he'd already had three birthdays this year and 'celebrated' the ages of 6, 7 and six again. The expensive gifts bought by her suitors tended to disappear as soon as he'd opened them and her purse became a little heavier as a result. Ezra chuckled in remembrance.

"How you doin' Ez?" JD was brought out of his avarice led scribbling by the sound. He frowned as he glimpsed the blank page.

"Too many ideas to make your mind up?" JD nodded sagely as he wrongly surmised Ezra's problem "Don't worry, just put down everything... that's what I do. Santa won't always bring you 'em all, but he needs to know - otherwise you could end up with socks!"

Ezra grinned; one of his 'real' smiles as JD had come to think of them. They were rare and he was pleased that he could help his younger brother avoid the horror of getting clothes for Christmas. He shuddered at the thought as he went back to his opus.

Ezra immediately began to write. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it himself! JD was a genius - it must run in the family. While it was true that he wanted all the toys he had seen he did not need them. He DID, however, need clothes. Not that Josiah and Chris hadn't been most generous upon his arrival - well after they had finished being horrified at his very existence - they hadn't exactly filled his closet and it was promising to be quite a hard winter. He could do with some thicker clothes, including socks.

'Dear Mr Claus',

While I am aware that it is your normal mission to provide small boys and girls with the toys of their choosing my providers have already been most generous in this regard. So may I humbly request, instead, some new apparel? In particular I would like a warm winter coat as my own jacket is not up to the rigors of the Colorado weather. A new pair of boots and some socks would also be quite welcome.

Thank you for your attention and Merry Christmas to both you and Mrs Claus, your elves and reindeer.

Yours most faithfully

Ezra P. Standish (Larabee) Esq.

Ezra re-read his missive and bit his lip uncertainly. Since he was being quite good in his requests he wondered if he could be just a little bold - besides he was sure that Santa (or most probably Josiah) would appreciate as much clarification as possible. So he once again picked up his pen and added a postscript.

P.S

Whilst I would, of course, appreciate whatever lands in my Christmas stocking I would be extra grateful if it were possible to provide

1. A jacket more in keeping with the fashion worn by skiers than lumberjacks.

2. A little cashmere in the socks (and no cartoon characters)

3. A decent brand of boots (but Timberland would do at a pinch)

Thank you once again.

Ezra.

He sighed and gazed out the window to the stables.

P.P.S

My pony would appreciate a new grooming set.

He signed off for a final time and hoped that he hadn't pushed things too far.

"Wanna read each others letters?" JD tried and failed to see what Ezra had written but his curled arm was obscuring the view.

"Most certainly not JD." Ezra quickly folded his sheet of paper so that JD wouldn't see how little was on it. "Letters are private and privacy should always be respected."

"Ookay" JD shrugged as he reached for the envelope he had already decorated for the purpose. Ezra sure had some funny ideas!

X*M*A*S

Later that evening, after the boys were in bed Josiah, Chris and Buck sat and went through the letters to Santa. JD's was no surprise since he'd been dropping heavy hints since the end of August. They immediately ruled out two thirds of it; mainly things that the kid had seen once and decided he just MUST have it. Then they chose a half-dozen items to arrive 'from Santa' and something from each of them.

Vin hadn't written a letter, he'd gotten past that age, but he had made a list. It was far shorter than JD's and they were pleased to see a marked improvement in his writing skills. It looked like the extra dyslexic tuition was working well.

Comparing JD and Vin's wants Chris was reminded of himself and Buck when they were younger. Buck's letters had almost reached novella length whilst his own requests tended to center around either his horse or his bike.

Josiah sighed as he re-read Ezra's letter. He had hoped that by encouraging the young southerner to write to Santa he would learn something of the boy's true self. And he supposed he had in a way - just in a very disconcerting way.

"At least he's feeling secure enough to be a little specific in his requests" Buck grinned at Josiah's expression.

Josiah chuckled. "You can almost see the word 'designer' screaming from between the lines" he acknowledged.

"Nice to see him thinking of his pony" Chris added, remembrances of his own first pony still in his head.

"We ARE going to get him more than this though aren't we? I mean c'mon guys... socks?"

Yep, Buck and JD were certainly cast from the same mould.

"We'll just have to keep an extra eye on him to see if we can spot any tells as to what he really wants."

"Good luck with that" muttered Buck to Chris's suggestion. He'd seen professional poker players with more tells than the seven year old.

Later, in bed, Josiah began to get the feeling that he was missing something important but for the life of him he couldn't remember what.

M*E*R*R*Y

The next few days went by without incident. Ezra's cold had almost gone leaving him with just a little cough - and a big problem.

Money.

How on earth was he going to buy presents for his brothers, not to mention Miz Nettie with virtually no funds? The money left over from Maude's parting gift was almost gone and what remained was nowhere near enough to buy seven presents and christmas cards. While Judge Travis and his wife Evie would not expect a present it would be rude not to send a card. Maude may not have equipped him for a normal life but he had been well versed in keeping up appearances within polite society, and the techniques needed to fund his efforts.

Unfortunately all of her fundraising methods would prove unacceptable to his new family. For example they still allowed him to play poker but only for fun, not cash; it was a distinction that he couldn't understand. Surely the fun was in winning the cash? Conning money out of the locals was also out and he was hardly conversant with manual labor even if he were recovered enough. Besides Vin had already cornered the paid chores market.

There had to be a way to earn money but since it was immoral to use illegal means and illegal for a seven year old to use moral means such as paid employment he really couldn't see one.

Vin had suggested that he make gifts for everyone. He was under the impression that home made presents went down rather well. It was what JD was planning to do. Ezra sighed... he seemed to be doing an awful lot of that lately... his God given talents didn't extend to crafts. But his conundrum would have to wait as another puzzle had just this morning been solved. It appeared that the Larabee Christmas tree, unlike his step father's, did not need to be assembled; rather it needed to be chopped down!

Good Lord. Did he look like a woodsman? And what use would he be. He was hardly big enough for tree felling... maybe he would be expected to keep a watch for dangerous animals, or possibly squirrels. Did squirrels hibernate?

"Come on Ezra, time to go get the tree." came JD's enthusiastic cry

"Oh joy."

TBC

Next part up in a day or so. Hope you enjoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ezra's Christmas chapter 2**

**Disclaimer - I own neither the magnificent 7 nor Christmas.**

**.**

It was cold. Actually it was beyond cold. As far as Ezra was concerned he might as well be in the arctic for all the good Vin's old hand-me-down jacket was doing to keep him warm. He half expected a polar bear to come stalking out of the woods.

Well maybe he was exaggerating a little; but only a little - and he really hoped he was wrong about the bears. The natural world wasn't his strongest subject but he did know that polar bears weren't as cuddly as they looked and home grown ones, which he was pretty sure DID live hereabouts weren't much better. A small boy would be a tasty treat on a cold winters day for a bear awoken from his sleep by amateur lumberjacks. A walking picnic basket of delights no less.

He had, however, been reassured that the likelihood of meeting dangerous wildlife at a cut your own Christmas tree farm - or whatever Buck had called it - was very unlikely. Although he noted that no-one had mentioned squirrels.

"So which one takes your fancy Ez?" Buck clapped his gloved hands together in what Ezra assumed was an indication of his excitement. But then Buck was easily entertained.

"The silver one in Mrs Potter's store. The ready lit, ready to decorate one in the nice clean cardboard box, in the nice warm shop."

Buck laughed and patted him lightly on the head: a head which was swathed in scarf, earmuffs and a most abominable woollen hat complete with pom poms... courtesy of JD.

Oh the indignity!

Nevertheless he trudged dutifully from one pine tree to another. He thought that they all looked much the same. Some were taller and some were wider; some were bushy and some were spiky but they were all green and they were all christmas trees.

It seemed, however, that it wasn't that simple. There was an art to selecting the perfect tree - and Josiah was wielding a tape measure. It was going to be a long day.

It wasn't perfect. Not perfect by any means. It fulfilled the bushy requirements but it was a little lopsided. It wasn't particularly tall and so wouldn't suit those in possession of high ceilings. Yet neither was it short and therefore ideal for smaller homes. The imperfect not little/not tall christmas tree began to look very forlorn as those surrounding it were selected and felled. Ezra watched as Josiah and Chris, just like all the visitors who had gone before, gave it a cursory glance and passed it by. Vin and JD didn't even look in it's direction, finding playing in the snow more to their taste, and Buck - well Buck was busy chatting up the farmers daughter over a cup of eggnog.

Ezra felt sorry for the tree. He knew only too well what it was like to be less than perfect and unwanted. To be passed over for faults that he had no control over. He wished that there was something he could do for the tree but they had high ceilings at the house and Josiah wanted a tall tree: A tall and perfectly straight tree.

Ezra had doubts about the wisdom of purchasing a tall tree. He thought it likely that if there were squirrels about they would be nesting in tall trees - they couldn't be called tree squirrels for nothing!

Nathan watched Ezra as Ezra watched his brothers. He had noticed the lack of enthusiasm for outdoor trips. It had been the same at Halloween and the pumpkin farm but at least there had been activities to engage him. Yet there was something else, something above and beyond simple boredom. Ezra was looking... troubled; sad even. And while tree cutting wasn't everyone's thing, his included, it hardly warranted such an emotion. So Nathan watched more attentively. He knew better by now than to come straight out and ask. Ezra would likely say he was 'fine' with such sincerity and conviction that you would begin to doubt your own mind. No, the only clues he gave were given when he thought he wasn't being watched.

It was the tree! It had taken Nathan a good twenty minutes to figure it out but he was now positive. Ezra had found his tree - a tree that everyone else in the family (and possibly the entire state of Colorado) had passed by.

Why couldn't anything ever be easy? Nathan wondered as he inspected the bushy, lopsided specimen. It certainly wasn't what they had come looking for and it wouldn't exactly dominate the living room, the location that their tree was destined to occupy. But it was something that meant a lot to the seven year old and that was far more important.

"Chris, how you doin'?"

Chris turned to Nathan with a wide smile on his normally taciturn features.

"Think we've found it" he confirmed, indicating the ten foot tall, straight and perfectly proportioned pine.

"It's nice. Perfect in fact."

Chris frowned at his brother's tone. He didn't doubt what the teen had said - he was the most honest of them all - but just because what he was saying was true didn't mean that he was saying everything he meant or thought.

"And" Chris prompted as Josiah put away his tape measure and with an inquisitive glance at the two brothers left to fetch the saw and Buck who was probably drowning in eggnog by now.

In answer to Chris's question Nathan indicated the lopsided tree and the small boy gazing at it.

"You have to be kidding me! Little mister designer label..."

"Has fallen for the little tree that Santa Claus forgot" Nathan confirmed with a nod and a warning glare.

"But..." Chris may have been the older brother but no-one argued with Nathan's 'resolve' face.

"They'll never go for it" Chris opined in what nobody would dare call a whine.

"Trust me."

And Chris did. Because although he was their conscience Nathan could be downright manipulative when he chose to be... he'd make a great doctor one day.

Seeing that everyone had begun to gather round the perfect tree, including a resigned and poker faced little southerner Nathan presented his argument.

"Okay guys, I think we all agree that this tree'll look fantastic in the living room" he indicated the ten foot plus specimen. Everyone nodded their agreement although no-one but Chris and Nate noticed Ezra's half hearted efforts.

"But y'know..." Nathan continued in a conversational tone "I have to ask, is it really US? Is it really a Larabee tree?"

"Huh!" was the unified response.

"I mean it's perfect, true, but are we?"

"Are we what?" Buck was confused; he blamed the eggnog.

"Perfect Buck. I'd say no." Nathan was warming to his theme and noted with satisfaction that he had captured Ezra's attention. "Take me for example; I tend to fuss too much, or so I'm told."

"Darned right" muttered Buck good humouredly.

"And Chris can be too grumpy" added Vin with a grin which Chris glowered at, but seeing where Nathan was going with it and that Vin meant no malice his scowl soon broke into a smile as he added a shrug.

"Josiah dithers" he added his contribution to the pot.

"I...I... well I guess I..." Josiah blushed and chuckled as he did exactly what Chris had accused him of.

"What about me?" asked Vin who wondered which of his imperfections would be chosen. He considered himself to have an awful lot to choose from even though he knew that his brothers would disagree.

"You're too quiet" They all nodded their agreement with Nathan's statement, Vin included. It was just the way he was.

"And ME!" yelled JD, not wanting to be less than perfect but not wanting to be left out either.

"You're too LOUD" came the chorus and JD giggled.

"And me?" Ezra wasn't sure he wanted to know but it would be churlish not to take part.

"You're too darned mysterious" offered Buck knowing that any true criticism would be taken too much to heart this early on in their relationship... besides it was true.

Ezra couldn't argue with that. 'Keep 'em guessing' was a Maude directive.

"What about Buck?" asked Vin with a smirk.

"Well I can't really give you any imperfections for Buck" began Nathan and Buck preened at his 'perfect' status only to adopt a look of injured horror as Chris added,

"The list is too darn long."

"Hey!" cried Buck theatrically, "I resemble that remark!"

After the laughter had died down Ezra expressed his understanding (and hope) of Nathan's little speech - and crossed his fingers.

"So you think we need a tree that says who WE are - a less than perfect tree?"

"Yep" Nathan confirmed and then pointed to what he had come to think of as Ezra's tree. "Like that one."

Nathan winced slightly at the stunned silence and mentally urged someone to take up the banner before Ezra melted into a puddle of misery.

Vin had been wondering what Nathan was up to but as soon as he pointed to the tree that his new little brother had been staring at for the last half hour he got the point.

"It's nice and bushy" he complimented the little(ish) tree and realised that despite it's poor comparison to its neighbors it WAS a nice tree.

"It's only a little lopsided I suppose" Buck didn't have a clue what was going on so he just followed Nathan's lead. A whisper from Chris in his ear soon had him positively beaming with enthusiasm for the previously neglected tree and if he seemed a little over the top Ezra put it down to the eggnog.

"Yep pards" Buck continued, "That there tree just screams the name Larabee don't it?... it's not perfect but it's still a handsome devil, just like yours truly"

By now Nate had filled Josiah in and he was nodding his agreement. Witnessing the change of tone Ezra allowed his hopes to rise.

JD was confused. They had come to get a perfect tree.

"But what about that one?" he pointed to the taller tree. What if his friends came round and saw the tilting tree? They'd laugh at him! Not that the little tree wasn't nice, he might even get the chance to put the angel on top if someone lifted him - he was usually too small even if lifted by Josiah and he wasn't allowed up the ladder.

"We could have both."

They all turned to look at Ezra with questioning expressions but no anger so he took it as a sign to carry on.

"You could put the big one in the hall. It would be the one that visitors see. It would impress them." Ezra knew that it was important to impress people and first impressions counted.

"And put the 'Larabee tree' in the living room where we could enjoy it 'cause we don't need to impress each other" concluded Josiah. Ezra wasn't sure that he didn't need to impress his brothers, he'd spent his whole life having to impress people but he nodded his confirmation.

"Then that's settled" Chris doubted that the United Nations could have handled the situation better and soon the tall tree and the not so tall tree were cut and paid for.

Just as they were about to leave Chris felt a tugging on his sleeve. Turning he saw Ezra who had a serious expression on his face. 'Lord what now' thought the blond.

"Don't forget to check for squirrels Mr Chris."

Bemused, Chris simply nodded which seemed to satisfy the little southerner.

'Too damned mysterious indeed' Chris decided.

M*E*R*R*Y

Ezra still couldn't believe that his tree had been chosen. It gave him a strange sense of satisfaction to know that even though they didn't know it the family had done something that he wanted this Christmas. Of course if he had expressed his wish for the tree he was pretty sure that they would have got it for him - for some reason his happiness seemed important to them; but it would have been out of pity, both for him and the tree and Ezra hated pity. He suddenly found himself quite looking forward to helping decorate the 'Larabee tree'.

Having survived the wilds of the tree farm unscathed and unmolested by either polar bears or squirrels Ezra was still left with his major Christmas worry. The presents situation. He had watched as JD made a notebook cover for Josiah who, now he was head of the household, being the eldest, had a lot of new duties and tended to carry a notebook everywhere he went. JD was doing a good job for his age and Ezra was sure that Josiah would like it. They were that sort of family. The trouble was, Ezra knew, that he had been brought up to regard perfection as the only form of success, although he didn't think of it in those terms; he just knew that he could not bear to fail his brothers by offering a less than professional gift. True he could draw and paint quite well, Mother having the conviction that such skills were becoming of a gentleman, but he was no Matisse or Rembrandt and his little origami sculptures already adorned practically every room in the house. So that exhausted his artistic talents, singing and playing the piano not being things that you can wrap and put under the tree. Besides without daily practice he had no doubt that his burgeoning piano skills were already quite rusty.

Two days later Ezra had come no closer to solving his problem and he was becoming quite desperate. Vin had amassed quite a bit of money doing odd jobs extra to his normal chores and for neighbors such as Nettie and he had offered to share it with his new little brother. Ezra had been shocked and humbled at Vin's generosity but even though the little Maude like voice in his head said take it he couldn't deprive the ten year old of his hard won cash. It just wouldn't be right.

Good Lord, he mused after thanking but declining the offer, Mother would faint dead away at his show of morals.

It was impossible. He was useless. He didn't DO anything tactile except play poker and pick locks! He was a service provider. He was whatever mother wanted him to be. He was a go-between when she was stalking her latest conquest; he was the one who talked them out of sticky situations with the local authorities. He was her secret weapon in the poker rooms. Now if only his innate skills could be given as...

Ezra sat up straight, his mind suddenly whirring madly with ideas.

The planning of his 'presents' took the rest of the morning and by lunch his brothers realised that something was afoot but nothing bad as the little green-eyed southerner was happier than he had been for days.

Chris, JD and Miz Nettie would be easy. Nathan's gift would take a visit to the hospital but he was due for a check-up in a couple of days anyway. Vin's would necessitate a trip to town, and Chris or Josiah's authorization. He would also need to go into Four Corners for Bucks present. For Josiah he would need access to the internet. But it was all doable. He WAS a Standish after all. Even if his heart appeared to bear the Larabee hallmark.

Breaking away from his plans Ezra headed down to lunch and another Larabee tradition. Just as horror movies were watched at Halloween it seemed that gathering to watch Christmas movies was a part of this season's festivities. This afternoons offering was called, Ezra recollected, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Vin had assured him that he would love it...

An hour or so later Ezra turned a look of mixed triumph and horror on Chris as the mad squirrel shot out of the Griswold family tree...Chris made a mental note to thoroughly check their pines when they arrived.

TBC

A/N In the final part we discover what Ezra has in mind for gifts and Josiah has a problem that only Ezra can solve.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine - or Santa's.

A/N This should have been the last part but I'm splitting it because I seem to have caught Ezra's cold and don't have the energy to do such a long chapter - but I figure that Christmas isn't over until twelfth night (the 6th) and there's definitely only one more chapter to go so I should be feeling better by then. Also thank you so much for the lovely reviews and I will write replies when I stop sneezing. (please note that it is possible that the characters are fighting back in 2011 - so beware what hurt/comfort you inflict on the boys... I give Ez a cold and I get a cold! Coincidence? hmmm)

.

Ezra had quickly realised that this was not a mission he could successfully complete alone. It was rather ironic actually. If he had still been living with mother he would have no trouble going off by himself to arrange his gifts but if he was still living with mother he would have no-one to get gifts for. Pushing aside the sudden sharp burst of pain that thinking of his abandonment brought he concentrated on choosing an accomplice. It was awkward since the only people he could call upon were the very people he wanted to arrange presents for. Christmas had more twists and turns than a land-sale con!

It had to be Nathan. For some reason the seventeen year old seemed to understand him better than the other older brothers - except Vin, but he was too young to be of help. And Nathan's own gift could be arranged when Ezra was alone with the diabetic doctor so there would be no danger of him discovering his surprise. Ezra smiled to himself at the thought of his brothers reception of his gifts; he was sure they would be liked... at least he hoped so. He shook off the insecurity, A Standish was always confident.

Ezra's first mission, however, did not involve Nathan at all. To obtain Vin's present he needed the help of either Josiah or Chris. After much consideration he decided that he would prefer Chris. Josiah would only want to dissect his idea and then persuade him to make something silly with glue and glitter. Chris, on the other hand, would assess the request and say yes or no; much more straightforward. And if he said no then there was always Josiah as a last resort!

"It's certainly an original idea Ezra" Chris sat and contemplated the seven year old. He had wondered how the boy was going to tackle his present buying. He knew that he couldn't have much money left from his arrival and he hadn't been with them long enough to save up much from his allowance but he had expected the little southerner to come and ask for some money which of course he was ready and willing to give; buying gifts for your family was as much a part of the experience of Christmas as receiving them and Chris had the impression that neither aspect of the holiday had featured heavily in his short life.

"Do you think that Vin would like it if it could be arranged?"

"Oh yeah, he'd love it" and he would too thought Chris. In fact the more he thought about it the more he reckoned it would be an excellent learning experience for the ten year old. All those years of being thought of as slow before his dyslexia was diagnosed had taken a toll on his sense of self esteem and this would be something that he could excel at.

Ezra forced himself to stand still; fidgeting was a sign of weakness, but he had everything mentally crossed. His sense of relief at Chris's answer made him let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Can't see why not. Okay you have my permission to ask him, and if Tiny has any questions just tell him to contact me alright?" Chris felt a sense of accomplishment at the happy smile his reply engendered. "You can't go to town alone though" he added as an afterthought.

"That's quite alright Chris, Nathan has agreed to accompany me tomorrow."

Well that went easier than expected Ezra congratulated himself. Now all he had to do was inform Nathan that he had already agreed to be his chaperone!

M*E*R*R*Y

Nathan couldn't believe that he had been talked into this... and by a seven year old! Lord that boy could talk the birds out of the trees. But he had to admit that it had been a good idea the kid had had. Ezra was obviously used to thinking outside the box, most children would have simply begged for an increase in their allowance. As he pulled up outside the blacksmith's forge he wondered what his little brother had planned for him. He had also spent considerable amounts of time wondering what they could get the precocious southerner for his first Christmas with them. It had been the subject of much debate between the older brothers these past few nights. None of them could come up with anything that they thought he would love; he was a total mystery and guarded his true wants like he was afraid that the mere notion of him wanting anything at all besides a roof over his head and food in his belly would have them sending him away. In truth they had been getting desperate and Josiah wasn't helping, his mind chewing over something important that he couldn't for the life of him remember. Then yesterday Buck had come home beaming like the cat who had gotten the canary and told them not to worry, that he had solved the problem... not worry? Buck smiling and acting that way would be enough to make the devil himself worry! But since they didn't have any other solutions ... and when he revealed his idea Nathan knew that it was the right choice.

"Nathan, little Ezra, what can I do for you today? Byron need new shoes?" Tiny Malone, the town smithie, was, contrary to his name, a very large man and while Ezra wanted to take umbrage at the 'little' he couldn't really comment not being sandwiched between the six foot three man and Nathan who although only seventeen already topped six feet. Putting aside his personal issues Ezra got down to negotiations with the man who besides taking care of the neighborhood horses was the local hunter and tracker.

With the combination of large soulful pale green eyes and the verbal skills taught him by one of the best con artists either side of the Mississippi the gentle giant didn't stand a chance.

Next on Ezra's list was the bartender at the local bar frequented by the older Larabees, one Inez Rocillos. Getting in to see her took a little arguing with his mother hen of a brother about the suitability or even legality of small boys in public saloons. Ezra's insistence that he had been practically raised in such places and had supped bourbon mixed with milk as a babe didn't seem to reassure the teen - quite the opposite in fact - but drawn by their heated discussion (as Ezra preferred to call their row) Inez herself solved their dilemma by inviting them up to the living accommodations. To say that she was surprised by the seven year olds request was an understatement but she had to admit that she was also intrigued... and how could she disappoint such a cute little boy?

By now Nathan was astounded and rather proud of his brother. He had to admit that he shuddered at the thought of what Ezra might have become if left with Maude but if his persuasive talents continued on a more constructive path he would grow up to make one hell of a lawyer. But at the moment he was just a little boy and Nathan vowed to do all that he could to ensure that he didn't grow up any quicker than he already had.

A trip to Mrs Potter's Emporium for Christmas cards, wrapping paper and a few craft supplies saw the first part of Ezra's mission completed and with only just over a week to go till Christmas day it was none too soon.

X*M*A*S

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear me... no, no of course Mrs Maxwell I quite understand, it's much more important that Felix gets the chance to meet his grandmother... no, don't worry I'll make other arrangements..."

Josiah's brothers listened in as Josiah took the call. They didn't know what the subject matter was but they could see that despite his calm tone to the lady on the other end of the phone he was rattled.

Josiah slumped into the nearest chair as he hung up on Mrs Maxwell.

"Josiah? What's wrong?"

Realising that he was giving a more alarming impression than the situation called for Josiah gave them a rueful smile.

"Nothing to concern yourselves over brothers. That was just Mara Maxwell, she's the mother of the soloist in the church choir, Felix. He's eight and he was due to perform at the church concert this weekend but the family have the opportunity to spend Christmas with family in Australia. He's never met his grandparents - I can't feel anything but pleased that he will get to spend time with them but it does leave me with a dilemma... choirboys don't grow on trees... I suppose I could have the choir repeat the first two songs at the end to fill the time... or..."

Ezra listened with only half an ear as Josiah pondered his alternatives the rest of his attention was on an internal debate... one that he was rather sure he was going to regret losing.

"Ahem..."

Well he'd tried to get their attention hadn't he? It wasn't his fault if they weren't paying attention was it? Unfortunately for Ezra his developing conscience decided that a quiet throat clearing wasn't signal enough.

'Aw heck' he thought before committing himself.

"Ah can be of assistance... if you want" Ezra spoke loud enough to be heard but added the last in the hope that his help would not be needed.

Seeing that Josiah, so caught up in his problem, was about to politely dismiss the youngsters offer Chris intervened. If there was one thing he had learned about the unusual child it was that he would never offer help if he couldn't actually do something to help.

"How Ezra?" he asked which had everyone's attention

Ezra blushed... a rare event for a Standish. "I have a little experience of performing in a choir."

Ezra didn't know whether or not to be offended by the stunned silence but the disbelieving cry of "YOU were a choirboy?" from not one but ALL of his brothers was hard to take positively.

Realising by Ezra's look that he was getting the wrong impression Josiah glared at the others and then got down on a level with the ever surprising young man.

"We weren't making fun Ezra it's just a surprise that's all. We didn't think you'd lived anywhere long enough to join a choir... and it isn't exactly an activity one would associate with..."

"Dig yourself in deeper why don't ya" Buck's amused tone piped up which broke the tension somewhat. Ezra decided to take pity on his oldest brother.

"Mother needed to get close to a rather wealthy local mayor whose brother was in charge of the church choir so...""So she sent you in to grease her path." Chris managed to keep the anger out of his voice but if he ever met that woman again!

It took only a few bars of silent night to convince Josiah that his problem was solved and Ezra, to his chagrin found himself the subject of well meant taunts through the evening about little angels and slipping halos from Vin and JD. He found, however, that unlike the taunting he had received in previous homes this made him feel somehow part of the family and not estranged from it. He still couldn't believe that he had agreed to embarrass himself in public though. He was getting soft in his old age..

Once the younger boys were tucked up in bed, Ezra as usual grumbling about the earliness of the hour, the older brothers finished sorting out their Christmas preparations.

"Make sure you keep an eye on Ez in this choir 'Siah, I don't want anyone picking on him because he's new or different." Buck's mouth twitched up in a smile at the increasing level of protectiveness in Chris's attitude to Ezra.

"Don't worry Chris, the choir are a nice enough bunch and I'm sure that they'll be too busy celebrating the Lord's birth to get up to much devilment."

Chris nodded at Josiah's reassurance while Buck's thoughts had taken off on a tangent at part of Josiah's comment.

"Can't be much fun having your birthday on the same day as Jesus - you're never gonna exactly be the centre of attention are ya"

Once again Josiah became the centre of attention. First as he slapped a large hand across his forehead with some force and then as he rushed from the room toward the study. The others said nothing but exchanged confused glances and shrugs. Josiah soon returned clutching a piece of paper which he waved agitatedly in the air.

"I knew there was something I'd forgotten, thank God Buck spoke when he did otherwise it might have been too late."

"Too late for what" snapped Chris as he tried and failed to read the wavering document.

"What?" Josiah was confused for a moment before he realised that he hadn't actually explained himself.

"Ezra's birthday" he announced handing over Ezra's birth certificate. It had been in the collection of documents left by Maude but once the DNA link was confirmed nobody had paid it much mind.

"Ez's birthday is on Christmas day?" Buck's outburst voiced their collective shock.

"Not quite" corrected Josiah, "It's on Christmas Eve."

"So what are we gonna do about it?"

"And why hasn't Ezra said anything?"

Nathan and Buck's questions deserved immediate answers so they turned away from Josiah and cast questioning glances at Chris instead. Josiah didn't mind... immediate action wasn't his strong suit.

Chris sighed. Why was he always expected to shoulder the responsibility of being the eldest without the actual perks of being the eldest. In the end, however, the answer came from an unexpected source; unexpected because they all thought he was asleep in bed.

"That's easy, Ez don't wanna cause a fuss in case you kick him out"

Out of the mouth of babes mused Josiah as Vin stood at the door in his pyjamas looking at them like they were all simple minded.

"And the other question, what are we going to do?" asked Chris who didn't see the point of reprimanding the ten year old. It was rather a case of shutting the door after the horse had bolted.

"That's even easier. We do what we would do for any of us. We have a party."

"But it's Christmas Eve" pointed out Josiah knowing that the day had traditions of it's own.

"Not any more it ain't" Vin emphasised his words with a frown as if any argument would be a family betrayal. "It's Ez's birthday" he finished with a grin.

And nobody found themselves wanting to argue with that.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Ezra's Christmas part four

Disclaimer: Santa has the boys in his custody and the local bus doesn't stop at the North Pole - so another year goes by that I don't own them.

A/N Thank you for your well wishes I'm feeling much better. Hope you enjoy this final part and a special thank you to Wolfa Moon who pointed out the importance of wrapping paper. I've incorporated it and think it adds a nice touch so thank you once again. And if I couldn't get to answering your review many apologies but I figured that getting this out was more important to you, but they are all treasured. Thank you.

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Ezra stood in front of the mirror and tried to ignore the high pitched giggling coming from behind him. If he had known beforehand just what his moment of weakness would cost him he would never have offered his services. Of course he should have known... it was all his own fault; Josiah was nothing if not a traditionalist. He plucked dejectedly at the lacy cuffs and consoled himself with the thought that red had always been his colour.

"It ain't so bad Ez"

Ezra glared at the reflective surface that showed Vin and JD's position. He couldn't help but think that the older of the two boys standing there would have spoken up sooner if it hadn't taken him so long to stop laughing and that gave the lie to his comment.

"You look adorable" Nathan's almost straight faced contribution did nothing to help.

"I look like I stepped out of a Christmas card" Nathan noted that Ezra's growl was accompanied by a glare that would do the Larabee name proud but nobody could hold in their mirth when Jd with the honesty of an eight year old piped up with,

"You look like a girl!"

The chase was on and Nathan just hoped that Ezra didn't trip over his dress before he caught up with JD and Vin.

Josiah's pride shone from his face as Ezra took the applause for his solo. His voice had been purely angelic and had fitted in perfectly with the rest of the choir. Surrounded by his family, with Chris making a very rare visit to the church and Buck actually managing to keep his attention off of the female worshippers for once Josiah felt that maybe they would come through the experiences of the last two years stronger and closer. No family should have to lose both of their anchors in one fell swoop and Chris had also lost his planned future with the deaths of Sarah and their unborn child. Yet with the arrival of Ezra, an event that should have torn the family apart, new and tighter links had been forged between not only the newcomer and themselves but also between the original members. It was as though they had begun to forget that they were a family; that they shared not only each others joys but each others grief too. Chris in particular had come alive again; having to deal with the frightened and distrusting southerner had been good for him: Nathan had found someone who needed him, who would look to him in the same way as JD looked to Buck and Vin looked to Chris and he himself had learned that while considering himself woefully inadequate to lead such a unique family he didn't have to do it alone and nobody expected him to achieve perfection. Even discovering that their parents marriage had nearly floundered and that Ezra had been the result had taught him that you didn't have to be perfect to be loved... now if only they could get Ezra to learn that particular lesson. He said a silent prayer of thanks for bringing Ezra to them... and that he would be forgiven for the choice of traditional choirboy dress... eventually!

For just a few minutes Ezra forgot all his lessons about appearances and tells and all those other Maudeisms that dictated his actions from day to day and lost himself in the music. He even forgot that he was wearing a dress. This had been one thing that he had enjoyed, one part that he had been happy to do as part of their conning. It was something that was normal for a boy his age. People expected little boys to be able to sing like angels and had judged him no differently from any other chorister. It hadn't lasted of course. When the con had fallen through they had fled town faster than he could Ave Maria. But it still brought back good memories. Mother had, miracle of miracles, praised him... and in private too, rather than for show. And now his new family seemed to share her opinion from the looks on their faces. It was definitely a day for his mental album of good memories. As his voice drifted to a close he exchanged a quick glance with Marlon, the leader of the local gang and someone who might have made his life hell for this... but since he was wearing a dress too he doubted whether any taunts would ensue.

Chris sighed in relief as the performance came to an end. He had half expected the seven year old to take his revenge for his sartorial humiliation in public, on stage, and while he was glad for Josiah that the kid had shown restraint he couldn't say he would have blamed him. Hell, if anyone had forced him to parade about like that at any age he'd have shot 'em.

M*E*R*R*Y

Chris brushed a cobweb away from his face and hoped that the occupant was long since dead. Not that he was frightened of spiders, not at all; he just preferred not to waste time dealing with them... and all those legs.

Suppressing a shudder he worked his way across the attic in search of his prize. It took him a lot longer than he had planned because many of the items stored up here as unwanted and outgrown had with the years taken on the mantle of precious memories and became deserving of time taken to remember each part played in his and his families lives.

But he wasn't here to indulge in maudlin remembrances he told himself. He was here for Ezra's birthday present... or at least the major part of it. At first he had worried that Buck's insistence that Ezra would want something new had been right and that he had gauged the little southerner's desires wrongly but deep down he knew that he was doing the right thing. Ezra was used to the new, the best, the most expensive. He also knew that spending a lot of money wasn't always a sign of love. The telescope he was looking for had been a gift to him from their father when he was a teenager and they had spent many a night together under the clear Colorado skies watching the stars. He wanted to pass on that companionship to the lonely seven year old and he was sure that Ezra would understand and appreciate it just like he had done with Dad. At least he would if he could find the darn thing and if nothing had set up home in it!

Success! And after a good clean and check up it was reboxed and wrapped ready to hopefully enthral a new generation. He knew that Ezra loved astronomy and had put up a star system poster in his room... one of the first signs that he was making the room his own, another small step towards belonging and the other brothers had followed his lead, buying up to date books and software as their offerings for his Christmas Eve birthday. Offerings that they made sure to wrap in paper that said Happy Birthday and not Merry Christmas... a mistake only avoided when Buck had pointed out that the paper they were going to use had been the same as they had utilised for the christmas gifts; that it would look like they had merely plucked some presents out of the pile to create a separate celebration.

Sometimes Buck was a lot smarter than he looked.

X*M*A*S

"Ah still don't see why Ah have to spend all afternoon outside. In case no-one had noticed it is cold... and wet."

Ezra's last comment coincided with the impact upon his person of a soggy snowball which dripped down the back of his neck making him shiver. He glared at the culprit and regretted the illegality of murdering evil eight year olds.

"Cause you're a kid and kids play in the snow" JD grinned as his aim was true and his comment made the seven year old glare which was a bonus.

"And because you've never built a snowman" added Vin as he admired the slightly lopsided but jolly snowman they had spent the last couple of hours building. Photos had been taken and the decision to add a Mrs snowman had another half completed figure awaiting arms and eyes... Bucks suggestions on how to make her stand out had been vetoed by Chris - and Miz Nettie had dragged him to the kitchen to help with preparations.

Ezra wouldn't admit it under threat of torture but this was the best birthday he had ever had. Not that anyone knew that it was his birthday but he he'd had his favorite fresh fruit waffles for breakfast cooked by Nathan and then he had gotten to spend the morning building a snowman; and no matter how much he complained about the cold and wet (appearances had to be maintained, though it was becoming harder to remember that direction) he had thoroughly enjoyed both the building of the jolly man and the intermittent snowball fights that seemed to break out without warning. He hadn't won one single confrontation and yet nobody had minded - quite refreshing.

Ezra had worried a little at first that he should be doing something productive indoors. Visitors had been arriving all morning. Miz Nettie and Mrs Potter had shown up mid morning and seemed to be cooking up a storm but Vin had insisted that staying out of their way was the most useful thing that they could do. It made sense; Christmas Eve was a very busy time in most families. It was one of the main reasons that his birthday was usually ignored. Families had better things to do than pander to the sons of strangers at such a time. He was glad that the Larabees were unaware of his connection with Christmas Eve, it meant that nobody would feel guilty at ignoring him and he wouldn't feel sad that they had.

"Time to go inside Ezra"

Ezra's head snapped up at Nathan's call. He hadn't realised that the time had gone by so fast, he had been absorbed in his building. Hurrying to obey his brother he noted with surprise that the number of vehicles had grown in the driveway. Where had his God-given observational skills gone?

"SURPRISE!"

Ezra stood as still as a stone, his mouth opened in a round O.

Chris wondered if this was the first time that the kid had been lost for words - he hoped that they had judged his reaction right. It would be mightily embarrassing if he turned tail and ran.

Ezra gazed in shock at the crowd of familiar faces. Not only his brothers, Miz Nettie and Mrs Potter and her children but the Judge and Evie Travis were there (but thankfully not Mary or Billy) as were some of his fellow pupils, including Marlon and the Crew with whom he, Vin and JD now had a good relationship.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Well that answered that question thought Ezra as he wondered just why he had become the centre of attention.

It was a birthday party

For him!

No-one had ever...

"But how did you...? I never said..."

"You're family Ezra, of course we'd know when your birthday was" Josiah felt it best not to mention just how close a call it had been.

"Come on Ez, open your presents then we can get to the food" JD was a boy who always had his priorities firmly fixed and everybody laughed at just what those priorities were today.

Ezra moved in a daze and Evie, Nettie and Gloria Potter had to wipe away stray tears at his look of disbelief and awe as he touched the gifts on the table as though he feared they would vanish before his eyes.

"And it's really mine?"

Buck had had his doubts at Chris's suggestion for a present but the look on the little ones face put paid to them. His wide eyed expression of delight had become one of awed respect when Chris had explained the telescope's provenance.

"Yep" answered Chris with a thickened voice and a suspect shininess to his eyes. "Can show you the things that Dad showed me if'n ya like"

Ezra's jaw dropped open once more and the little Maude voice that urged him to stop being so open with his expressions like a country hick at a State Fair was, for once, completely ignored.

The party went wonderfully. There were balloons and cake which Ezra was allowed a small slice of because even diabetics can have treats. There were even party games and while Vin proved to be a star at pin the tail on the donkey having the aim and sense of direction of a marksman even when blindfolded Ezra became the twister champion - the boy was as flexible as a grass snake and made Chris and Buck look like geriatrics.

Later in his bedroom, still too buzzed to sleep, Ezra and his tiger viewed the pile of birthday presents in front of him. It was beyond his wildest dreams! It was... it was...

Perfect.

J * O * Y

Ezra lay very still and listened to the lack of sounds from within the still slumbering Larabee home. He had known precisely three christmases in his life, at least that he could remember. The first, when he was five, had been spent in an Alabama motel room while running from an irate soon to be ex husband of mothers. The second had been one of bright sparkling lights, presents and tables groaning under the weight of fine food - unfortunately none of it was directed at him. That was the don't be seen and don't be heard christmas. But it had been better than last year because last year he had not long escaped from Cousin James' clutches and he had just been diagnosed with diabetes. Neither he nor mother felt much like celebrating the festive season that year. So it was understandable that Ezra, lying in his nice warm bed, in his very own room, didn't have the slightest clue in how to celebrate Christmas.

Was he expected to wait in his bed until summoned? Or was he expected to leap out of bed with unbridled excitement? Did the family gather in pyjamas or dress for breakfast - he had seen families do both on various television programmes and movies over the past weeks - he had quickly discovered that as a how to do it guide the many varied methods of celebrating featured created more questions than answers.

Deciding that staying in bed at, he glanced at the clock and shuddered at the positioning of the hands on the dial, four o'clock in the morning, when he was, for once, fully awake was a waste of time Ezra persuaded his horrified body to venture out from beneath the covers and get dressed. Being dressed while the others weren't would certainly be less of a social faux pas than being in his p.j's while the others were fully clothed.

First problem of negotiating the festivities solved Ezra made his way silently downstairs to put the morning coffee on - anything that prevented Josiah getting to the pot first to produce his much loathed weak brew would, he figured, be a welcome contribution to Christmas morning.

Coffee on Ezra made his way to the living room. He never tired of gazing at HIS Christmas tree. They had spent an entire afternoon decorating it and Ezra was delighted that as much, if not more, attention was paid to the smaller family tree than to the one in the hall intended for public display. If anything the smaller tree wore it's decorations better than the perfect one. The lights seemed brighter and the baubles sparkled... sparklier - Ezra winced at the downturn his vocabulary seemed to be taking - and HE had been part of it all! He had helped put the tinsel and the decorations on and had even helped to buy some new ones especially for his tree. Chris had asked him, in a whisper, if he wanted to put the angel, all dressed in gold with a trumpet and golden wings, on the top but he had seen JD eyeing the topper and knew that for some reason it meant a lot to the slightly older boy to do it so he declined. It had been worth it to see the look on JD's face as he was lifted up to attach the angel. Ezra had discovered that one could get as much pleasure from other peoples joy as from ones own. He really didn't think that Maude would ever get that one!

All these thoughts ran through his head as he made his way to the living room but they stopped dead as he opened the door to reveal the darkened room and the lit tree.

It looked like four o'clock wasn't that early after all.

"Merry Christmas Ez" came the quiet greetings from Vin and JD as they sat at the foot of the tree which was now surrounded by many presents, more than had been there the night before when he had added his own to the collection.

"Merry Christmas" came his surprised reply "I thought that I was the first up" He was glad to see that he had at least judged the dress code correctly... and also noted that in their excitement JD had donned odd colored socks and Vin had mis-buttoned his shirt.

"Nah, but we're surprised you made it this early. You must be real excited."

And Ezra found that he agreed with Vin's statement; he was indeed excited, for the first time, about Christmas morning but not just by the presents, some of whose labels read his name, but by actually feeling that it was as much HIS Christmas as theirs. And that was a first.

"We can look but we're not allowed to touch" JD informed him with an air of the injustice of it all.

"The rest of the guys'll be up in about a half hour and then we'll have breakfast once Miz Nettie arrives" added Vin while gazing longingly at the gaily wrapped pile.

"And THEN we can open our gifts" finished JD as though predicting an event some years away.

Ezra nodded and they all turned their attention back to the tree, losing JD ten minutes later when he realised that there were cartoons on the TV.

L * O * V * E

"Okay guys, thank Mrs Wells for the wonderful breakfast" Josiah put down his fork and, too slowly for certain small diners, signaled that the family breakfast was over.

"Thank you Miz Nettie" came the chorus and the old lady chuckled as she thanked them.

"Now off with ya, and get to the important business" she ordered and moved quickly out of the way of stampeding feet.

"May I assist you in clearing away Mrs Wells?" Part of Ezra wanted to run with the others but some manners were just too deeply ingrained to be ignored.

Nettie smiled and hid the sadness and slight anger that she felt at such a conditioned reaction, knowing as she did the reasons behind it.

"Thank you Ezra but it's all in hand and I'll be in in just a moment to join you."

Watching Ezra continue to the living room Chris sighed and exchanged a rueful glance with Nettie as he brought up the rear.

"Thanks Nettie" he said as he left the room and Nettie knew that he wasn't just thanking her for her treatment of Ezra but also getting them past the awkwardness of their first Christmas breakfast without their folks. She had given a little speech in memory of them and reminded them that they would still be with them in spirit. It had helped.

Chris squared his shoulders and entered the living room where presents were being handed out to their intended recipients. There had been a time when he thought that he would never feel this Christmas joy again - where he would have felt guilty if he dared to be happy after losing Sarah but family were the best medicine and to not have been happy for them would have been to betray everyone he had ever loved and lost. He took his place by his own gifts and they waited, with varying degrees of patience, for Nettie to join them.

Ezra had half expected the gift opening to be a free-for-all nightmare but each gift was unwrapped and appreciation shown in turn, and somehow that was more nerve-wracking because if they didn't like the presents he had chosen it would be glaringly obvious.

"Wow Ezra, this is wonderful! Thank you" Ezra relaxed slightly as he recognized the truth of Nathan's statement. For his part Nathan was astounded at how resourceful his little brother was and how well he had gotten to know them all. His gift of a home-made certificate for a weeks work experience with Doctor Bellingham, Ezra's diabetic specialist was fantastic. It wasn't just a chance to watch a professional at work but a chance to actually assist her, at least as far as medical ethics and the law allowed. He was almost sure that he wanted to specialise in pediatric diabetic medicine and this would be invaluable.

Buck beamed with pride as the last of his brothers opened their present from their new brother. His own gift had made him laugh and yet had left him quite moved. It had also confirmed that Ezra could sell anyone on anything. An I.O.U from the delectable Inez Rocillos for one date! He had been trying for months to woo the woman of his dreams and now he had the chance to show her what Buck Wilmington was really made of - he looked down at the instructions on the card, written in Ezra's elegant hand. Do be romantic; don't take her to Pizza Hut; do bring flowers; don't presume too much or one date will be all you get! Kid was a born matchmaker... and knew him so well!

Chris had thanked Ezra for his promise of six poker lessons. Having watched the kid in action he treated the gift for what it was - a master poker player willing to impart valuable information to a colleague. The other guys wouldn't stand a chance.

JD had received a similar promise certificate from his brother, but this one was for a series of magic lessons. JD had watched Ezra perform his magic tricks and sleight of hand and had pestered him for days to teach him. Knowing what Ezra intended the older boys had made sure that JD's gifts would include a magic set to get him started.

Vin was overwhelmed but his quiet thank you had warmed Ezra more than perhaps any of the others. Vin ran his finger over the home-made gift certificate for tracking lessons courtesy of Tiny. It was something he had always wanted to do, ever since watching the scouts in old west movies. It was something that he knew he could be really good at without having to play catch-up like in so many other things. It made him feel... normal; and he thought that was quite the gift, a perfect present.

Miz Nettie had contemplated telling Ezra that she couldn't possibly accept his generous gift. It was obviously a family heirloom. A journal written by an Aunt full of recipes, tips and ideas that Nettie found fascinating but couldn't possibly... and then she had caught the look of hope and expectation on the little face and realised that her acceptance was worth far more to him than the book. She pulled him into a hug and thanked him simply and sincerely. She silently vowed to keep the journal safe for him until he grew up. His admittance that he had rescued the book from Maude's clearout of all unecessary encumbrances made her decision even more important to her. Damn that woman!

Josiah looked at his gift and shook his head in bemusement. How had the kid figured out that he had been having such a hard time with the family accounts? The whole thing had fallen on his shoulders when their parents had died and it had proved tougher to decipher Dad's system than he had hoped. On top of that the tax lawyer had upped his charges out of the blue simply because he knew that Josiah was in a bind. Ezra's gift had been a letter from one of his honorary 'uncles' which had instructed him how to set up a simple system of home and business accounting and the name of a reliable tax man in the area. It had removed a weight from his shoulders that he wasn't aware was weighing him down.

Ezra watched as each member of his family perused their gift and his anxiety faded at their obvious appreciation. It had felt strange but good to give instead of receiving and a lot less nerve-wracking, he acknowledged as he viewed his still unopened parcels. The tradition in the Larabee household it seemed was that the younger members opened their presents last - so ensuring that all attention was fully upon them... no pressure then.

He followed Vin and JD's lead, well more Vin's than JD who turned into a Tasmanian devil with each wrapped parcel. Some of the gifts were uniquely tailored to the individual; Vin got a new basketball while JD received a new set of action figures for his latest obsession. Ezra had, indeed, received the clothes he had requested (the joy on Ezra's face contrasting with the looks of horror on Vin and JD's) The ski jacket was in his favourite shade of red and came with matching gloves and hat - warmth AND style! And the boots while practical for the Colorado winters would not have looked out of place in the top Alpine resorts. More unexpected were the presents that were not part of his list to 'Santa' and had taken them all into account as a family. Nettie had gotten him, Vin and JD music lessons. It was something that they had all discussed when both of the other boys had expressed an interest in his rusty piano skills so the lessons were not completely unexpected. What was a shock were the keyboard for JD, the guitar for Vin and the clarinet for Ezra, who had commented that he might have been able to stick to his music lessons if he had been learning an instrument a little more portable than a baby grand piano. Chris had paled when the suggestion had been made by Nathan to buy them instruments. The racket would be deafening! But a part of him knew that Mom had wanted them to take up music, one of her great loves and this seemed a way of keeping her aspirations alive... he made a mental note to lay in a supply of ear plugs.

Vin's gift of his very own dreamcatcher, also made by Chanu pleased Ezra as much as any expensive gift he had ever received and JD's home-made pencil case made him realise that not only was JD talented at crafts but knew him better than he had realised.

When each of the three younger boys unwrapped the final identical packages to reveal their own laptop computers they thought that Santa had outdone himself! The decision to provide individual computers for the youngsters had been, as far as Chris was concerned, a practical one. It had been recommended that it would be good for Vin's dyslexia while JD was obviously quite gifted with computers and they felt that encouraging him in this strength would help calm his hyperactivity. And Ezra, well Ezra was used to having more access to the world than the confines of Four Corners allowed and it wouldn't have been fair to deny him his own little bit of independence - all parental controls in place of course!

That was it. All the presents were opened and admired and Nettie was in the kitchen surrounded by Christmas dinner fixings while everyone else relaxed after all the excitement. The surprises were over.

Except that they weren't.

Ezra didn't know what was up but something most definitely was. There was still a high level of expectation in the air which was yet to be explained. For a split second Ezra fancied that perhaps Mother might stop by and he didn't want to face the realization that this filled him with as much dread as hope. But her gift had been there with the rest - A new deck of cards and the latest poker manual - and she wouldn't send a gift and then come in person; it would be a waste of her energies and besides Christmas was a potentially lucrative time.

But yet something was...

"Ezra."

When had all attention come upon him Ezra wondered as Chris's voice gained his own awareness.

"Chris?" Ezra's heart began to beat faster. The smiles and happy faces told him that it was nothing bad but it WAS something. But what...?

'Yip!'

Ezra's eyes went wider than the Mississippi at the incongruous sound. The sound he quickly ascertained as coming from the cardboard carrier by Chris's side.

Buck squatted down by his brothers' side and opened the top of the carrier as Chris continued to speak.

"Reckon that now you're settled you might appreciate a little friend" he mumbled as he took in the awe on the little southerner's face. He had been doubtful of Buck's idea, as doubtful as Buck had been about the telescope; and he had wondered if Vin and JD who didn't have pets other than their horses and JD's goldfish would be jealous but they had talked it over and Vin had been promised a puppy for his eleventh birthday in May and JD hadn't really been keen upon finding out that he would have to clean up after one. And from the look in the green eyes Buck had been spot on.

Buck gently lifted the German Shepherd pup from the container and it immediately scrabbled free of his arms and scooted over to a kneeling Ezra as though it knew it's destiny.

"M...Mine?"

"All yours Ezra" added Nathan.

Ezra barely heard the babble of voices commenting on how cute the pup was and how he would have to look after it and walk it. To Ezra this was an end to his every doubt that he was a keeper.

Because only family had family pets. Only keepers were allowed to keep. In giving him the beautiful little creature that was busy licking his nose they had given him two of the greatest gifts of all.

Someone to love and care for who looked to him.

And confirmation that HE belonged to THEM.

It was the best Christmas there would ever be and he had received every wish he had never dared make.

Maybe Santa was real after all.

End

A/N Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Having read so many Christmas fics over the years I'm so glad to have had the opportunity to write one. Just a couple of points in closing. Firstly I understand that a first Christmas after a bereavement is not always this festive but I wanted a feelgood fic so I hope you'll indulge me. Secondly, it's not recommended to buy pets for Christmas but I figure that the guys know what they're letting themselves in for and can be trusted. Lastly there will be more NAK fic at some point - I still have the evil cousin James to deal with but in the meantime I'm going to get back on track with my other fics. So please have a happy New Year.


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